Good relationships don't just happen.
They evolve and are sustained only when (the couple) know what they want and how to get it

1.  Takes time - when you marry to accept the whole package, takes time to access.
2.  Takes study - understand and infeninating.
3.   Co-operation, group effort, minimum of 2 hours of conversation daily to succeed.
4.  Lots and lots of patience,
     5.  Not necessary to always agree, but necessary to agree to disagree and go neutral.
6. The moral values is fixed in a person by the age of 10.  From 10-18 it is refined as how to carry out.
This means that if your potential spouse didn't not have positive family influence or a moral up
bringing from age 0-10, safe place to live from 0-18; don't get involved.

Often helpful for couples is to define the meaning of what you said immediately after speaking so what you said and mean are clear; & mean the same.  Many many conflicts are because the other person's definition of a word/statement is different then the person whom spoke it.  Most of the time if people understand where another  is coming from(meaning) no conflict arises because there is understanding.
Often times a man, reaches a point, where he no longer feels LOVE for his women.  This is not because he doesn't love her anymore  as he assumes; but doesn't feel it so he thinks he doesn't love her anymore.  But when the situation changes that which made cold his passion and desire to be near her, will charge with behavior changes, feelings of love will return.

45 percent of the men and 26 percent of the women said they are attracted to one of their partners’ friends — and tempted to act on it.

33 percent of the men and 19 percent of the women said they’d had sex outside their marriage.

46 percent of the men and 19 percent of the women who cheated said it was because “I just can’t help myself.”

46% of women want more sex than then their partners.

A marital relationship that endures and becomes more fulfilling for both husband and the wife is no accident.

Be grateful.  Every night before bed, make it a habit to tell each other something that we're grateful for that the other person did that day. For example, 'I'm grateful for the nice dinner you made,' or 'I'm grateful you gave the kids a bath.' It's teaches us to look for the positive attributes in each other. It's also nice to be recognized for doing the laundry or cutting the grass!"

It usually takes thirty to sixty days to change a habit.  Your habits can be tiring to another person.

Always try to remember that Love is a choice.  I choose to.............

A lion can roar and growl, but it takes a real man to say it gently.

Lions are great because they are great businessmen, loyal, protective, & usually good leaders.  But they need to redirect that energy when dealing with the spouse.  Deal with a spouse gently.  Listen to spouse's meaning. 
Lions whom tear up the pride, have no families.

Genuine Love means, "I see a need in you.  Let me have the privilege of meeting it." 

Instead of taking for itself, genuine love gives to others.  It motivates us to help others reach their full potential in life.  Most  importantly genuine love has no qualifications.  It doesn't say I'll be your friend if you be mine. 
Love only seeks to give.

Yearly farmers invest in seed for a good crop for a Fall harvest;  ranchers invest in cattle & hay for the offspring in the Spring/.  It is the same for relationships.  You have to INVEST resources, time, energy into them to get a return crop.  To harvest the blessings of return.  That is how you build LOVE.

Doing things for others our way is selfish, immature form of love. 
Trying to get people to fit a certain module/mole is the same thing.

Feelings follow thoughts and actions.

There is no meaning in a word.  Meaning is in people.

Liars don't believe what others say as they are always lying. 
Thieves don't trust because they are always breaking trusts.

Men, teens:   There is no such thing  as a low maintaince wife.

But there is a difference between a high maintaince wife and a high HIGH maintaince wife.

    Woman by nature are a higher maintaince being; more complex. Involve & think of others more.
Men by nature are more forgiving, open minded, generous, & overall more loyal; simpler by nature,
live for the moment.

Marriage founded on sexual attraction only has no foundation to get a relationship.  No sex, no relationship.

End each Day with a clean slate--- settle all offenses by the end of the day.
Not doing so will cause a build up of resentment and frustrations, which will make mountains out of specks.

Abandon "I told you so" or words that mean I told you so:  "If only:" statements which keep you in depression.

Wisdom dwells in those people willing to be corrected and even seeking to get error out of their lives.

Replace "you" statements;  with "I feel" messages.

When you offend your spouse, do you usually admit you were wrong and seek spouses forgiveness?  Remember you offended them, not they you.

~The majority of men use deception to get intercourse from you outside of marriage.

~If you give into that, at some point or another they will devalue you with it, treating you like a
whore. And usually replace you with another.

~If you don't have intercourse with them the majority will beat you with the fact and call you a bitch
because they couldn't get their way. And if you do you'll evidently here your a bitch.

~Plus under these sex prior to marriage situations, the man can discard you at anytime or you
may feel you should receive better treatment from a man and leave.
So this opens your life up to a whole bunch of social, mental, economic problems & possible
sexually transmitted diseases which will be a serious problem in you next relationship or for the
rest of your life.  Men are not usually forth coming with the truth financial and disease wise until
you slept with them many times. Many are stray husbands.  By then it is too late!

~From a man's view point your damaged goods if your in a second relationship or had sex
previously.  (Somehow they don't think the same should apply to them.)
But to your face, they will say it doesn't matter.  But they will feel, you are less
valuable = (less:  dependable, reliable; or what is wrong with you because you didn't pick
a good relationship for yourself; easy, or stupid, etc.) Thus they won't invest much or fully. 
Most men are not thinking about your welfare, ONLY THEIR OWN.  What works for them, when
they want it.  Very much a what benefits them tunnel vision mentality.  SO women don't settle for a man
where red flags are going off. Or for one that doesn't CARE for you like the member of this
family that he grew up in.  There is a big differences between having you around because of
pride/ownership/convenience and a relationship where you are a human family member in the
care and protection of fellow human man.   "LUST/DESIRE"  verses "CARING for what happens
to YOU type of love." Lusting type of love burns out quickly when life becomes routine.
Caring for the best for another is friendship.  Friendships can weather a great deal and are
good for both.  A spark can be kept alive in this type of marriage by variety amongst routine.
But man and woman must contribute.  A passion for life keeps a spark.

~Woman and children in sex before marriage relationships are almost always living below the
poverty line for the rest of their lives.
As a general rule woman will suffer depression at 2, 4,& 6, month intervals and 2, 4, 6, 10 year
intervals in "sex prior to marriage" situations. They struggle for validation in the relationship when
the man isn't responding in a bonding type fashion.

If all women got back on the support of "no sex outside of marriage" principle and held other
women accountable.  Collectively, women could change the mind set of men to receive the
value of woman as "more precious". 
Why, because in order to have a companion sexually or otherwise, men would have to marry
and take good care of that woman.  Otherwise most of his itches would go unscratched. 
From help mate, intimate companion, family of his own, children, sex, etc.  It would also mean,
if he screwed up, he'd have a more serious consequences.  SO, men would put more effort forth
to take care of what they have. (Build & safe guard family relationships as well as be a good
provider).  Thus the life of women and children would be better. Better for men too. ( Men &
women > More peace, sex more often in a safe environment.  Stable environment for children,
security for the woman's old age.  Higher standard of living for all.)  Studies show, married men
have sex more often & live longer.  In evangelical type households women report: happy,
exciting, satisfyingly sex lives.

Men are like pets, they don't want to go with out, they want what they want now.

A well brought up man should be thinking how he can help his fellow mankind as he goes about
his day.

A selfish or poorly brought up man, thinks: I like ... or I want..., so I will help. Getting his foot in
the door bribe.
A good tip for men:  take the attitude of dating your spouse your whole life. 
Make it a practice to tell the truth.  To build respect for your office by being open hearted,
kind, patient with her, fair, and by keeping an open line of communication.

Men about Women:  If a woman takes birth control pills long enough; the women will go crazy.
Guaranteed.  With depression.
A woman is highly influenced by hormone levels in her body.
     Seek the advice of a naturopath.  Also do body detoxification, herbal cleaning, etc.  Do
something positive about  this early on in your relationship to build a strong marriage verses
destroying the one you have.  And seek marriage counseling or training.
If she has a toxic endocrine system, thyroid disease, hormone imbalances;  life can be difficult.
The thing is, she won't realize how bad it is.  Others in her life will.  Education for all, seeking
help, and praying is the only answer.  IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE CAUSE; A SOLUTION CAN
BE FOUND.  Estrogen dominance is never good, regardless of gender.

You would not believe how many men; are not willing to try.  Not willing to understand.  Not willing to help.  They'd rather rack up the sins.  Against God, their spouse, family, & society. Rebellion is why America is in the shitter in all departments.
Is it any wonder America is in the mess it is in.
Now I say; men where given the honor of being stewards of the land and those in it.  It is about time they take back their manhood's, do they part in life.  Husbandry means to tend and care for.  That is where the word husband comes from.

View Points on Relationships

When a man cheats on his spouse, and keeps it a secret he thinks, he is off the hot seat, and that if she does not find out no harm is done.

A woman whom is cheated on/lied to, feels deceived, cheated of something the belonged to her (her affections, her love).  She sees the lying and the cheating as affirmation that her husband does not value their relationship or her.  Sees it as a lack of respect.  It is the worst insult possible in a woman's eyes. Next to devaluing the relationship in public. Verses working on the marriage problems constructively, which very often requires a trained third party mediator.
Children also loose their value; when the husband rejects the marriage, devalues the marriage. Often becoming wild disrespectful and loose.  Lives filled with heartache.


Here is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard. 

Previously the woman in the situation had made it very clear sex wasn't happening because of her regligious beliefs and her love of "God".  So sex outside of marriage was insulting to her and her God.  And about the nastiest thing the man could put upon her.

He kept setting up situations where she'd be invited as a guest, and of couse he'd say stay the night.  Couch or his room.  His pressure kept in creasing, while the woman continued to behave.  Finally she said she would prabably start sleeping in her car because of the sexual pressure.

In this woman's eyes she was protecting God's property, the man's and her virtue, and respect/intergity for each other.

Man:  says Your saying, I'm not good enough for you. 

Now did he want a longterm relationship with this woman or sexual relief?    Sexual relief and ownership of her body.  Had he wanted a friendship and longterm relationship with her he would have cultivated that.  Which if they got along would turn into marriage and sexual pleasures.

It ended with the woman spending nearly two years in waiting.  While he bedded others, finally inviting one of the others to shack up with him.  In his home with two daughters.  When asked what he thought he was teaching his two daughters?  How to whore around or what?  This being strange since "he was so concerned about their bad influnce from their mother."  There is know difference in the quality of his actions verses his 3 ex wives according to the accounts he rendered himself.  How the woman in waiting found out about this was the man's whore told her what was going on.  In the meantime, the man had been weird/semi-available to available.  Basicly available when the other women wasn't around.

The point of this is girls, women don't sleep with men outside of marriage. 

That type will test ride all comers.  And they are not forthcoming with small details like:  there is more then one of you, what suprise VD he's not mentioning.  BUT he's doing this in "love" and "interest" in you.  Bull shit, he is not interested in your well being.  Just taking care of his itches. Whatever those addictions may be.  Where ever he's parked that stick; it will be injected into you with God only knows what attached.
Woman catch those ugly things 80% easier then men. 
Girls, these small suprises CAN make you infertal and/or sick for the rest of your lives.  It can cause you to loose out on a healthy pain free life, a spouse, and even children.  It may cost alot of money to keep your health.  You may die young.

Sex before marriage, contraction of STDs is one of the reasons it is becoming very difficult for couples to concieve children when they want some.  All those parasitic organisms. 

Guess whom won't be there when you develop full grown VD, even if he gave it to you?  Your spoiled goods.
How would you like to get in that situation and years later find a decent man whom is kind, caring, and supportive for you and the prospect of having children together is gone because you let some little side winding kuss slip one over on you?

By the way the destructive and immature type of man will act, imply, and insist your the one; paving the way, he thinks for intercouse NOW.  Do not fall for it.  Or the threats of leaving you.  Let him leave, you are only loosing a hard way to go for you, your future children and future spouse.  Besides if the relationship isn't the free ride and party the kuss planned, the side winder will imply to out right state your cheap, a whore, or worse because it is "quote" your fault. He'll mentaly beat you down all he can.

So, keep your value by keeping your virginity.  In the long run, you will be glad you did.  You also will be much healthier and fincially better off.  Statics show women whom were in the sidewinder's grips, live in poverty most or much of their lives.

This also applies to older women.  Because each new relationship is a virgin one relationally.  

Men this would be good advice for your future too. As if you bed a women outside of marriage and the relationship hits rocky roads, deep in her mind you have bastard behavior; hence you can't be trusted and should PAY if you are found in any situation of inappropriateness or the look of impurity. 

Plus there is enough work with one family.  What would you do if your wages are divided between you, and one or two wives with children.  The average is 7 for men.  In ratios like this there isn't enough money for any to do well.  Then the people you cared about suffer, and you sure as well will suffer.  Children are suck in this impossiblity their whole lives also, then their children.

It isn't little sweatly games your playing with here it is the rest of your lives.  Make it a well planned true course traveled verses a good future hoped for by the luck of the draw.

Then you hate ........and make everyone pay for this........   instead of enjoying a blessing.  SO no one likes you either.

Women usually wake up and stop at four marriages.  Women have the most to loose, by loose ill thought out behavior.

Unfortunitally most men's love actualy stops when responsibilty, or oppressed with lots of households to care for.
Plus those multi-family men bring with them debit loads they will never pay off.  Their goes the new women's future and the future of her children.


So yes I take my lumps from the foolish for keeping my chasity because I don't need VD to spoil the rest  of my life, or to shorten my life.  And I don't need some fools mega debts, to ruin the abitlity to care for ourselves in old age too.  Or to spoil the opportunity to have children or to maybe travel, or do charity work. 

I want be treated lke a gift in the life of some man; not a vacuum cleaner or teapot which quickly turns on with a few strokes then puff.  There is more fun, adventure, and life; in life then a two poke joke lifestyle.  Two poke lifestyle ends opportunity; and not just for one.  So the old excuse I'm just hurting me is bullshit.  Your hurting your community. Your community contains your family now and in the future.  It also hurts our global community.

Believe it or not preparing for old age and for children coming along should be something to be saved for your whole life and in advance.  And started as a teen. You need to develop a solid plan and stick to it!

Exuse me someone had to say it.  Few are teaching the youth anything.  Do as I say, not as I do, is the direct opposite of reality.  Children learn by example. Whether it is good or bad example they see!  This is learned very, very young.  The progam pattern will be self sustaining and deeply rooted by around age 10-12.  The children repeat this pattern for the rest of their lives.

This is why christian morality should be cleaved to regardless of what you believe.  And living in faith regardless of what you want, believe, or see of others. Means sacerficing, suffering if you want to right wrongs, and it doesnt happen over night. 
Living in faith is a action thing, not a passive thing.  Also requires the reading of the Holy Bible to prepare you, guide you, and to protect you.  You are changed by the renewing of your mind.  Only the Holy Word of God can do it.  And to work you must be in the Word.  READ or listen to cassettes or DVDs of the Holy Bible.

That is why I have a problem with fathers shacking up with your new bitch(s).  Everyone sees.  Corrupts everyone in an ever widenning circle.

Men/teens your wife will have a deeper trust/respect for you if you keep your pistol in its holster until you are married.
It means you care about the future, it means you honor her & family, it means you can be trusted, it means you are clean, holsm, and good for her.  Tuff shit if your peers heckle you.  Those teen boys won't know what a gift true love can be, or how to be sexually satifified with one women.  Deep respect is a solid foundation to build on.  Learn good stewardship of relationships.  Maybe take study courses from family centers, church centers, faith family radio, etc.

Men if you don't have a good mentor in your life, read a bible from the library and find mentors in the communtiy from places like church, or positive family value type clubs.  But be careful of the creeps on the fringes.

Those teen peers are spreading a little all over and will reap little good back.  They are planting hardship all over and being poor stewards of life, family, and community

Good men and women will teach each other what they need in a positive manner.
This includes sexuality.
70% of all women are unsatisfied sexually because their partner has not learned to turn them on so they can orgasm. Recieving sexual relief. Women can have several types of orgasms.  If sex never appealed to a women, it is because she never enjoyed the pleasure of orgasms.  Those of which would keep her interested in sexual activity.  Otherwise women get frustrated, nag, and turn to other activities to use up that sexual energy. 
Women need 20-30 minutes of warm up to even feel like having sex. And should not be penetrated any sooner. Some need stimulation internally, others need external simulation.  Others both. The type of touch; strength and depth of penetration vary to satisfy women.  No women is turned on by cervical pain (deep painful penetration). Men generally need less stimulation.  So couples start by getting the women very turned on.

And excellant book for men to learn techinques regardless of his size, is:
"Best Small Penis Sex Techniques"  Learn proven & tested steps on How to satisy any women anytime by giving them multiple orgasms easily & with great confidence.

The reason to not  get involved with an alcoholic or drug user; they are there for their habit hence can't be there for your needs. They are looking for a new drug fix in you, or a solution in you-to take responsibility, help them deceive themselves with denial.  Emotionally, Mental, Family support goals, Parenting.You can count on being alone & compromised in many ways. This will affect you, family finances(could completely wipe you out.), and your children.  THIS COULD RUIN YOUR LIFE, permanently.  This can take the JOY out of your life for years...  You could loose your family.  They may have violent episodes; which can threaten or or even kill you one day.

Dating, Warning
Advice Page

As always young people discuss this with your parents, grandparents, school counselor, or church counselor.

Most of the people above have YOUR long term best interests at heart.

Remember when you take advice from friends, teens, or from adults not listed above you run the risk of poor advice from people whom lack experience in life. 

Or advice from people living high risk lives.

Protect yourselves!
Be careful.

Once the damage is done, there is no turning back to the innocenance of before.

~ Health Renewal Center:  You & Your animals.

~ Motivational Speaker, Artist, Merchandise Sales.

~ Paradise Ranch: Grounds, Breeding & Sales of Paso Fino Horses/Mules

Joni Lund - Trading Post
1295 1st St S
  Carrington, ND  58421-1905
Phone: (701) 652-1986 office  9 AM - 9 PM Central; call late. 
for more immediate service, leave message.  Prefer all contact by postal service mail.

  No non-paying solicitor calls accepted.

~ Health Renewal Center:  You & Your animals.

~ Motivational Speaker, Artist, Merchandise Sales.

~ Paradise Ranch: Grounds, Breeding & Sales of Paso Fino Horses/Mules

Joni Lund - Trading Post
1295 1st St S
  Carrington, ND  58421-1905
Phone: (701) 652-1986 office  9 AM - 9 PM Central; call late. 
for more immediate service, leave message.  Prefer all contact by postal service mail.

  No non-paying solicitor calls accepted.

Definiation of a good lover is:  one man whom is able to sexually satify one women her whole life, and be sexually satisified himself.
Health Can Strongly Affect A Persons Behavior, Mood, Patiecence, Outlook on Life - Do you or Your Loved One Need to address Some Physical Problems? Toxic People = Toxic Ways.
Remember to those whom must date:  violence occurs in 1 in 4 relationships.

1 in 3 women are sexually assaulted wither in a marriage relationship or not. 4/29/2015

Many users/abusers refuse to change yet they consistently find ways to dupe good hearted people into falling in love with them.

1.  Why do these men and women intend on getting you to fall in love with them and then proceed bot ruin you life?
2.  What kind of tactics do they use?
3.  How do you determine the difference between true love and their false intentions?

God's plan comes complete with peace of mind, absolute stability, and prosperity.   With no decrease, no divorce, and no child custody battles.
There are many SLICK  whom claim to know God up it is only for show.  Satan's plan is to send a handsome derelict to ruin your life, health and fiances; then they flee.  In the wake of toyed emotions, played body, jerked heart, get infected with a infectious disease, leave you with an enormous stack of bills you could never pay off yourself,  ruin your credit, force you into bankruptcy, and a stormy marriage.

Discerning wether a potential mate is God's plan or if their are dead set on ruining your life via sin.
Secret Agenda.
No amount of advice from you or anyone else, no long talks, counseling or therapy is going to change their CALLOUS HEARTS.  Some claim they have found God but THEIR ACTIONS WILL PROVE THEIR WORDS TO BE BASELESS EMPTY CONFESSIONS.  Slick operators commonly use church attendance an vain religious talk as a last ditch effort to make you believe they have a heart to follow God.

Prying and pleading with these types of people hoping to modify their behavior is like pleading with and interceding for the like of Pharaoh, Hitler, and Judas.

THE ONLY OPTION YOU HAVE IS  be straightforward and get them out of your life immediately!!!!!

They are bona fide masters at using the ART OF PERSUASION & SEDUCTION.  Hands of silk, eyes like diamonds, voice of an angel but HEARTS COLD AS STONE.!

It is the Bail and switch of CON MEN or WOMEN!  
The secret plot is to lure you into a marriage from hell.

No one wants to be married to a NABAL.
Churlishly individual:  cruel, severely disrespectful, stiff necked, and always in trouble.  To be grievous of heart and hard hearted.  Abigail was a religious church women.  Whom spent her entire life married to Nabal spent dispersing to his drunkenness, cleaning up after his disgraceful acts, putting up with his cruelty to her and his harshness to others.  Nabal put on a BIG SHOW for Abigail family, lied , lied in vows & etc. with NO INTENTIONS ON BEING ANYTHING BUT SELFISH< HARD AND self serving at ay cost..The earth is filled with Nabals & Delilah's! over 8 million annually according to substitutes.  Men like Nabal are pre-trained to be emotionally detached husband, abusive boyfriends and to impregnate females then abandon them. You don't want to spend 2 years dating, get married and waste 7 more years before if becomes apparent that your husband will never qualify to be anything more than a BOY in a man's body.  Or whom wants a wife that sets out to ruin your day.

NEVER become someone's Significant other until you have discerned
1.  Is your potential mate dead set on dragging your heart and emotions through the abusive lovers gauntlet?
2.  Are they determined to fulfill the Lord's glorious plan for you love life?  This means all areas of your life.

Three Points to be sure of:
1, Slick operators
2.  Baits used
3.  Traps to fall in.

1Slick operators-. look the look, but don't walk the walk.

2. baits: how the harmed viewed former love or ex-spouse:  my soul mate, knight in shining armor, charming, love of my life, magnetic personality, sexually appealing, really good friend, just what I was looking for, love at 1st sight, made me laugh, a godsend, attractive, irresistible, hypnotizing, enchanting, breath of fresh air, fun loving, swept me off my feet, easy going, a dream come true, my princess, charismatic, captivating, my one and only love, a great catch, a voice of authority, alluring, indescribable, impressive, took my breath away, baits used by most slick operators.  They look and sound like normal people.  They are ruthlessly proficient at detecting a person's natural desires and play them like a violin.

3.  Traps - a concealed or camouflaged device designed to seize, injure, maim, or destroy.  To a void a trap, 1st you have to be aware it exists.  The key words are conceal & camouflage.  Hide faults & true wants.  Slick operators realize a sane person will exit as soon as they are aware they are in a trap; so slick operators work hard to conceal their true character and secret plot at least until they feel they have captured your heart.

A lot of men brought up in hard social conditions and practicing teen and pre-marital sex can have personality flips on the dime
They have no guilt about slapping, hitting, choking or kicking a female.  Slick operators won't let go easily.

If your mate fails The Trap Test:  STOP YOUR  Relationship Immediately!  NOT TOMORROW, NOW!

Many women, have tried their best to change heartless womanizers into sincere, caring, loving, and moral men.  It would be more successful to photograph aliens.  Their decision to stay turned theirs lives into miserable pain based lover's nightmare. 

ARE you fully prepared and absolutely willing to be my mate's: Surrogate Parent, False Alibi, Anger Management Warden, Floor Mat, Punching Bag, Pornographic Material Monitor, Victim of Love, Emotional Haywire Security Guard, Infidelity Investigator or Drug and Alcohol Interdiction Agent.  If your answer is NO. Then evaluate your MIND,& ACTIONS.

They are pre-programmed to be pathological liars, users, abusers and homestretches.  A person's character, whether good or bad, is shaped by that association that influences their lives.  Their values, become their values.

Abuses 1.  start by abusing their "beloved pets"  Learn to abuse  the women they claim to love.  They start by torturing animals.
2.  Fill their heart, mind, and soul with hatred; until it's all you know.  Until your conscience becomes a fiery tomb.  Conditioned
3. Their create their own beliefs, rules, & laws.  They teach themselves to be love with deception, malice, indifferences, abuse, and
domestic violence.

3 Primary methods used to train  slick operators
1.  consciences corrupted by immoral men/women
2.  consciences corrupted by media, music, and Hollywood, video games
3.  victims of circumstances

There are websites that teach How to Lie to women, date two women at once, waging revenge on your ex, cheating can be healthy for a relationship, power will get you sex, player's secret sex guide, patience with seduction, the shelf life of sex partners.  mastering one nightstands, approaching and seducing women, how to lie, defraud, and deceive their way into your heart, how to have an affair with out getting caught, how to have every girl you want, how to destroy her emotional defenses, how to use her emotional vulnerabilities to your advantage, get females to have casual sex, how to get booty call for life, get PG and get paid, how to  control a woman's mind,

They learn to value women as objects of potential pleasure, a piece of booty. 

There are four type of people vulnerable to being trapped.
1.  God haters.
2.  Spiritually immature - church goers whom don't who don't understand God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or the kingdom of God. 
3.  The Rebellious
4.  Feeble-minded:  weak willed, easily convinced, swayed or persuaded.

The SLICK pick church goers because church goers will repeatedly take the abuse with an excuse.

1. Guard Eyes - don't watch evil or lewdness or sexual perversion things in TV, magazines, movies, videos, DVD's, pornographic stuff, Gaming.  Anything which shows violence and uncontrollable anger as a normal way to express one's emotions or stress.
2. Guard ears - words are seeds, once you allow bad seeds to enter your gate it slowly erodes your  ability to discern right from wrong and good from evil.  Including music or any other media.
3. Guard Mind - have sober, have sound, ready mind.(ROM 12:2 & Isaiah 26:3-4)  When you fail to guard your mind you will have a easily shaken mind, weak mind,  blinded mind, a despiteful mind, evil affected mind, chafed bitter mind, double-minded mind, reprobate mind.
4. Guard Heart - (proverbs 4:20-27 & Ephesians 6: 10-18, Psalm 1) Because you will be tempted and entice almost everywhere you go.  Satan will send people into your life to trip you up.  They will prey upon your natural desires, promising you pleasures, fun, excitement, riches, satisfaction, and sexual freedom.
5. Guard your conscience - (Acts 23:1) THE ONLY WAY TO GUARD YOUR CONSCIENCE IS NOT TO VIOLATE IT.  Each time you do, it becomes easier to do the wrong thing; and even easier the next time.  What you are then doing is turning yourself into a SLICK OPERATOR by searing/de-calibrating your conscience.

Set your standard to be with a partner who is committed to always guard these five vital areas. 
WHEN you find and fall in love with that person, you can always count on them to cover you with love, prayer, and protection.
They will never hurt you or betray you and they will never leave you crying in the dark.

MEDIA  :Alters a persons character and influences people to carry out immoral acts and evil deeds.  Grand theft auto teaches kids the spirit of a felon:  conditioning their minds to scheme, connive, and wreak havoc against society.  Buying those games seems small but the fact that you think it is of little influence  makes in the most dangerous.  Music lyrics and these so called safe games countless males to be sneaky, abusive, and cold hearted. Makes little boys preconditioned to grab, slap, hit, punch, kick  and rape women.  With media influence young men have spent most of their lives learning to devalue and degrades women and treat them as if they were common prostitutes.    Including the buy this and you'll get booty ads.  And teaches females to misuse their gender and give out sex. 
Planned Parenthood sites promote sex, indoctrinating kids to kissing, hugging, body rubbing, touching, sexual intercourse in defined sex play turning the gift of marriage into an amusement park, sport, a game they have a right to enjoy without interference from parents or anyone else.  Teens boys are already pre-programmed to ruin a woman's life and giggle about it.

Measure you potential mates conscience by

1.   type of movie, videos, TV, & cable they watch
2.   type of music they listen to and buy, video games they play: steal, kill, etc.
3    type of weskits they visit.
4.   groups, organizations, cults, clubs they follow or have joined.
5.   type of friends and associates they socialize with
6.   type of people they idolize, admire and try to emulate
7.    type of books, magazines, and publication they read And buy
8.    their philosophies, delegates, and beliefs,
9.    their relationship or lack of relationship with God
10.  their positions on cigarettes, drugs, alcohol and addictions
11.  their position on pornography, homosexuality, lesbianism
12.  their position on abortion, coerced abortion and forced abortion
13.  their position on teen sex, pre-marital sex, forced sex, and date rape
14.  their position on fornication and adultery
15.  their position on living together, also known as cohabitation
16.  their position on stalking, verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse
17.  their position on marriage, separation, divorce, children and family
18.  their position on keeping their word and making a commitment
19.  their potion on ending an engagement and halting a dating relationship

What people read, watch, people they admire, and idolize directly influences the condition of their mind and Conscience.

They may be from social high class, financially successful or not; BUT if they enjoy things that incites violence or degrades women and promotes illicit sex >>> you don't have to wonder or pray about their conscience  IT IS CORRUPT!BAIL NOW!

People get corrupted and become slick operators by:
1. Corrupted by immoral men and women.
2.  Corrupted by media; including music, and games
3.  Are victims of circumstances.

Victims:  Have had no one in their lives to protect and nurture them and no one who cares about their well being or safety.    IN a harsh rigorous lifestyle riddled with lewdness, desertion, and rejection, they they must fend for themselves victimized by heartless predators.  Afterwards  they are left to juggle depression, flashbacks, thoughts of worthlessness, feeling or revenge, suicidal tendencies, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders and frisly memories.  They have never known love or compassion.  They have only known fear confusion, hurt, and anguish.  This treatment has conditioned them to hurt others and to act without a conscious.  Many of them struggle  with bitterness towards God, hatred of  men, anger against women, rage at the world, sexual hang ups.  And they don't see how corrupted they are,  gripped with SHAME.

Are they or you a victim of circumstances?

1.   never knew their biological father due to mother's promiscuity. parental fraud, or refusal to let father be involved in their lives.
2.   Father was overbearing, cold, unsupportive, non-talkative or a controller, womanizer, liar, rollingstone, or con Artist.
3.   they were neglected or abandoned by mother or father, orphaned, raised by the state or raise by reluctant family, friends, relatives.
4.   Boys raised by single moms with no stable, strong male father figure
5.   They were raised by a domineering mother or my a woman how hates men
6.   Mother gave birth to them when she was just a pre-teen or teenager
7.   raised in a household filled with host to, criticism & ridicule, instead of one filled with love, care, cultivation, nurturing & instruction.
8.   Raised in a home filled with domestic violence  or verbal threats
9.   victim of child abuse, (starvation, or other demoralizing punishment)
10,  victim of incest, rape, gang rape, molestation or other sexual exploitation
11.  adopted or raised by a homosexual, lesbian, transsexual, bisexual, cross dresser, transgender or any other sexually unrestrained person
12.  parents married - went separate ways but never divorced
13.  parents involved in a bitter child custody battle or child support dispute
14.  parents(s) addicted to alcohol, drugs, or other pharmaceuticals
15.  Parent(s) suicidal, diagnostic with depression, bipolar disorder, bordering personality disorder or any other type of mental illness or    
  psychiatric challenge
16.  siblings suffered form depression, suicidal tendencies, addictions or involved in other self-destructive behaviors
17.  victim of a nomadic lifestyle - never had a stable home life
18.  parents never married or did marry but divorced
19.  parent(s) convicted of a crime(s) or involved in criminal activity
20.  Parent(s) had children born out of wedlock
21.  parent(s) perspicuous, involved in adultery, fornication, pornography or other illicit sexual practices
22. they were never taught any basic life skills such as apologizing, forgiveness, respecting, appreciating or being sensitive to others.  23.  they never learned the proper way to respond when wronged or hurt.  They never learned how to handle pressure, stress or setbacks. 
24.  They never learned how to deal with temptations, enticements, loss, sin, anger, wrath, or malice.


Most victims of circumstances are sincere in their relationship and marital aspirations; but because their consciences have been damaged they become a danger to whoever they enter a relationship with.

Ask Your self
1.  Is my potential mate a trained relationship or marriage destroyer?
2.  Has their mind and conscience been corrupted?
3.  Has my potential mate lost his or her capacity to have a normal emotions?
4.  Is my potential mate a victim of circumstances?
5.  To their own detriment, has my potential mate been influenced by the media, music and or Hollywood?
6.  Does my potential mate hold any bizarre beliefs or philosophies concerning love, sex, relationships, or marriage? 
7.  Has my potential mate been influence of immoral men & women?

Do You Know
1.  where they live
2.  what they do, work, socially, privately
3.  past relationships, schooling, work habits
4.  why moved?
5.  personality traits they are hiding.  Mask of gentlemen, violent temper, toy with your emotions/mind, Beware of theft of heart or money by
6.  .Past track record except what they tell you, verses their friends and family, peers. History:  married or not, shacking up or not. Pay bills or
not.  How deal with anger.
7.  Secretive?
8.  Do they relate with their family?

You need to know their past!
TRUTH -invites examination. Lies, fraud, & deceit shun examination
SINCERITY - of heart does not shun it.  No masks, falsehoods, disguises, exaggerations
TRUSTWORTHY - people expect it.  Means look forward to examination.
TRUE LOVE - demands it.  Means to ask to be informed of vital information.

Code to Live by:  If I cannot get to know your family, examine your background , past history, an track record, we will not have a future.

Does it feel like the two of you are dating or courting on a deserted or secluded island?  Are you sneaking around to date this person?  Are you participating in a secret relationship?  Are you isolated from people who truly love you and sincerely care about you?  Does any one else know about this relationship?   have you made plans to tell your family and friends about this person after you elope or after you marry?  Have you or your potential mate stooped so low as to be deceptive about he relationship to your family or friends?  Have you intentionally not told your family and friends certain things about your potential mate, fearful that they may disapprove or you and this person? IF YES to any your in a trap.

Warning Signs of Fantasy Life:
1.  Regularly act on impulse.
2.  Often insist on having their way
3.  They are inconsiderate of those they claim to love.
4.  Often reject sound advice and shun godly wisdom
5.  Their life is about material things and the pleasures they will enjoy.

A.  Always switching jobs or places of residence
B.  inability to maintain friendships
C.  Always starting a new venture/business
D.  dropped out of high school and refused to continue education.
E.  Dishonorably discharged from the military
F.  Cracking under the pressure of life's challenges or pressures?
G.  Gambling?
H.  Using drugs or alcohol.

Would you pursue a spoiled man or women?
1. be rotten
2.  be tainted or unfit for use.
3.  be in the process of decaying
4.  impair the value or quality of
5.  plunder,
6.  disrupt an disturb

Saying they will . . . . at a certain time or under certain conditions, but don't.   They lied.
Once you sanction lying, by tolerating it, you trap yourself.  The only people for whom lying becomes normal are thieves, criminals, liars, cheaters, wife beaters,  adulterers, old-diggers. . . and the people who believe them.

Mix this with a feeble minded person and you'll a revolving door of :  I forgot to pay, I can stop drinking anytime I want!, I over slept,  I will work extra time on off day to make up for day to lazy and drink.  I got fired again.  Drug test failed.  Bail me out of jail but it wasn't my fault baby. Your life will be full of poverty, and dealing with the police. and legal troubles.

Don not commit to any joint finances prior to marriage! PERIOD.  If they insist, dump them.

A Lover's quarrel is not slapping someone's face, grabbing them by neck or gripping them by jaw, jamming head down, pushing them out of car, throwing them out of house butt naked, threatening to hurt you or themselves, or threats to kill . .   or destroy . . .

Do you have a history of breaking up and making up with this person?  Slick operators are skilled at easing there way back into a person's life.  The only way to end the cycle is to do a complete break.  You have to go COLD TURKEY with these people.

Discrepancies in the things your mate has told you?

Putting some through a hellish marriage. Then a combative divorce and now trying to appear amicable. This is not the picture of a person with a rational mind. 

8 Relationship tests
1.  Have you discovered that your potential mate has blatantly lied to you?
2.  Do you detect evidence of instability or unreliability in your potential mate?
3.  Do you see evidence that your potential mate does not handle their fiances with wisdom, discretion, or good judgement?
4.  Do you find yourself making excuses or alibis for this person to other people?
5.  Do you have a history of breaking up and making up with this person?
6.  Have you noticed a pattern of them blaming others for their sin, lies, poor judgement or indiscretions?
7.  Do you see discrepancies in things your potential mate has told you?
8.  Does your potential mate watch soap operas or read romance, erotica or other fictional novels that inspire, inflame or invoke a fantasy enity?

Why do People have the urge to merge.

1. Gives them a sense of power/control.
2.  Trying To Satisfy a Need to feel loved
3.  Getting Revenge against an EX
4.  Refusal to discipline their sexual urges
5.  Father shopping for a disposable dad
6.  It's their way of rebelling against God
7.  They were Sexually abused
8.  Trying to mask hurt
9.  A desire to self-destruct
     10.  A feeling of invincibility
      11.  They are in self-denial

When a potential mate has been sexually active before they met you, there are some things you must ponder.
1.  The effects of having pre-teen and teen sex.
2.  The effects of having multiple sex partners,
3.  The effects of having an abortion or multiple abortions.

Teens and Pre Teens whom Have a Urge to Merge are suggest to bring some or all of these ten harmful character traits into a relationship:

1.  Rage & anger over being betrayed
2.  Urge to "get back" at the opposite sex
3.  They blame God for their relationship woes
4.  Cannot emotionally attach or bond to children
5.  Unable to trust or make a commitment
6.  Debasement of sex
7.  Dehumanize sex
8.  Deep guilt or regret
9.  Depression
     10.  Suicidal tendencies

People with the Urge to Merge syndrome will use any of the 10 methods below:
Casual sex partners
steady girl or boy friend
live-in partners
marriage, serial marriages
extra-marital affair(s)
forced sex, date rape, rape
strippers, call girls, prostitutes
sex with minor(s)
homosexuality among males
lesbianism among females.

Urge means to drive; press; push impel forward or onward forcefully. 2.  to press the mind or will of; to ply with motives, arguments, persuasion, or importunity . 3.  a strong restless's desire. 4.  to stimulate or to excite to action.

Merge - 1.  to cause to be absorbed in gradual stages 2.  to combine or unite 3.  to cause to be swallowed up; to immerse; to sink; to absorb.

syndrome - 1. a group of signs and symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize  a disease, psychological disorder, or other abnormal condition, 3.  a distinctive or characteristic pattern of behavior.

They will not rest until they have secured a sex partner to have sex with.  They just want a body; they don't care about emotions, aspirations, physical well-being and the feelings that go with it.

This process of corruption starts with pornographic materials.  Strip clubs.  Then wait around for church people.  Show interest in their ministry and life.  Convince them God sent him to answer prayer for a husband.  Next hold hands and pray together.  Then a sneaked gentle kiss.  Warm embrace.  The passionate I Love You.  Then after getting into their panties.  HE GONE>
If pressured into marriage he will say "will you merry me" verses "will you marry me". there is a big difference in the meaning.  Then his wife thinks she is going to teach him how to respect marriage vows and communicate with her.  To teach him to respect his marriage vows was like teaching him to speak a foreign language.  Of course his advisors where strippers, bar flies, other in marriage troubles, etc.  Next was to get weary of a wife's questions and demands.  He didn't love her, never even liked her she was just a means to an end.  Well after the dreams he filled her head with where getting thin, and he had his fill of sex.  HE STARTED THE OHTER TRICK for slick operators.:  He started an theater argument, blame their victim for not being more trusting and for ruining a good thing, and THEN HURRIEDLY EXIST the RELATIONSHIP!

When it comes to crossing the line and becoming perverted, depraved, queer, deviant or abnormal, they do not get it.  YOU MUST GET IT AND PROTECT YOURSELF!  They are a detriment to themselves, to you and to society.


1.  Has a history of easily entering and exiting relationships and now they want to be in a relationship with you.
2.  Has a history of always being in a relationship with someone whether (married, engaged, boy or girl friend, live-in lover, casual sex partner, etc.)
3.  Barely knows you but claims to love you, or claims to have fallen in love with you
4.  Barely knows you but claims they can't live without you.
5.  Presently has a wife, husband, fiance, fiancee, boy or girl friend, or live-in lover but they want to be in a relationship with you.
6.  is separated from their spouse, is in the process of getting a divorce, or is having marital turmoil but they want to be in a relationship with you
7.  Has just finalized a divorce and now they are pursuing a relationship with you
8.  Still harboring feelings for their ex-husband or ex-wife, (whether romantic, sexual, anger, bitterness, vengeance, wrath, malice, etc.)  but they still want to be in a relationship with you.
9.  just broke up with a girl or boy friend and has immediately set about to enter into a relationship with you.
10.  has ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, and people they were engaged to, with whom they have not doused out all of the flames and have not severed all soul, flesh, spiritual ties, but they want to be in a relationship with you anyway.

Sex related symptoms and behaviors
1.  Has had causal sexual encounters, one-night stands, nymphomania tenancies
2.  Has had numerous ex partners
3.  has had sex with minors
4.  has initiated forced sex, raped someone or been involved in a sex crime(s)
5.  Has been involved in orgies, group sex or swapped sex partners.
6.  carries condoms in their wallet, purse, pocket, glove compartment, etc
7.  has engaged in sex with inmate(s) while incarcerated
8.  is a single female whom has prescription for birth control
9.  Has had live-ins partners
10. started having sex as a pre-teen or teen
11.  has been married and divorced multiple times
12.  has been or presently is a stripper, go-go dancer, call girl or prostitute
13.  has dated or had sex with strippers, g0-go dancers, call girls or prostitutes
14.  has patronized strip clubs, peep shows, bathhouses or other sexually related houses of ill repute
15.  has a history of sexual transgression in the family lineage
16.  has bought, sold or used Ecstasy, GHB or any other type of date rape drug
17.  They say they are heterosexual but they have intimate relationships with cross-dressors, transgendered, transsexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals or lesbians.  They frequent establishments catering to the same, or they have engaged in sex with the same and now they are pursuing a relationship with you.
18.  has previously contacted any of the various types of STD's
19.  Has been sexually active in time past - but has not tested for the HIV/AIDES virus and has not had a comprehensive exam for STD's.
20.  Men and women addicted to or who enjoy any form of pornography
21.  Men and women who have worked in or presently work in the pornographic industry in any shape form or fashion
22.  is involved in or has been involved in deviant sexual practices such as partner swapping, pedophilia, sadomasochism, bestiality, necrophilia, etc.

child related symptoms and behaviors
she has multiple children by different men
he has multiple children by different women
she has had a abortion or multiple abortions
he has talked, forced, coerced, compelled or manipulated a woman into having an abortion(s).
has a child or children they fathered or gave birth to then abandoned them, gave them up for adoption, turned them over to the state, the state took them by force of law, or they dumped their child or children off on family members or friends
they have previously gotten married due to an unplanned pregnancy.

To continue in a relationship with this person without wise counsel would be to blatantly risk your health, safety, peace of mind, emotions, your future, and that of your family's. 

Your response to these patterns might be:
it's possible, I don't know, I hope not, I never asked, I assumed not, I don't think so, I don't put it past them!, what is that?, I'm not sure.

STD's are the leading cause of infertility.

Side physical effects if having an abortion:
Diarrhea, fever, vomiting, abdominal tenderness, damage to the uterine lining, cervical laceration, miscarriages, permanently infertility, excessive or severe cramping, severe hemorrhaging, blood clots, infected or ruptured placenta, scar tissue that blocks fallopian tubes, potential for increased risk of breast cancer, heavy or prolonged bleeding, seizures, comas, accidental injection of saline or other medicines into the mother's blood stream, infections due to parts of baby being left in the mother after the abortion procedure is complete, and teen death.

Psychological side effects:  flashbacks of abortion, difficulty bonding with children, sudden uncontrollable crying, an intense desire to become pregnant again just to replace the aborted child, anniversary grief, inability to forgive themselves, emotional numbness, nightmares, sexual problems, and depression.
Also:  anxiety, thoughts of suicide, eating disorders and sadness.  Some resort to drug and alcohol abuse and promiscuity to mask their guilt and regret.  Others become contentious and adversarial in relationships.  They harbor anger and resentment, especially if they were forced or coerced into having the abortion by their man or family.  Most men will read these signs and go HUMM

Just like an addict in need of a fix, they will scheme, lie and connive . . . using flattery, theft by deception, romance and make some of the most exaggerated promises of marital bliss in your ears will ever hear.  Once the high is waned they are headed for 1. post marital counseling, 2,  marital therapy, 3.  separation, 4.  adultery. 4.  divorce court, 5.  domestic violence, or host to other lewd or despicable activities to keep that.  "I'm in love feeling.

Lord told me you were to be my wife or husband.  Dreamed about you going to be for them.

They may assert themselves to be a Christian,   When they start expressing feelings for you or a desire to marry you because:
Beware this is a lie.

1.  They had a vision from the Lord about
2.  God put you in their heart
3.  they had a dream from heaven about you
4.  someone prophesied to them
5.  the Lord told them you were "The One"
6. They claim it's the will of God
7.  God commanded them to marry you
8.  An angel told them to marry you

Your are operating with someone is exhibiting a lying spirit, a spirit of control or a spirit of manipulation.

Why does Slick operator want to marry so fast?
1.  tired of being lonely
2.  marrying for money, prestige or power
3. the urge to merge syndrome
4. the soul mate syndrome
5.  my mate will complete me syndrome
6.  the mad scientist syndrome
7.  need new living arrangements
8.  the most eligible bachelor or bachelorette syndrome
9.  matrimoney mania
10.  lying on impulse
11.  peer pressure
12.  age desperation
13.  wedding ceremony blues
14.  tired of being lonely
15.  getting revenge against an EX

If marrying U for money or prestige: the person will become your worst enemy if they think they will loose this.  People with soul mate syndrome: have doomed themselves for failure because they are chasing after magical feeling lasts 24 hrs a day 7 days a week, 4 days a month.  Complete me:  "a spouse to smooth out their jagged edges" they expect their spouses to bring them out of their state of depression, free them from their drug, alcohol or pornographic addictions, propel them to keep a steady job, cause them to stop lying and cheating or help them clear up their other emotional, mental, financial, social or psychological defects.  Sooner they marry, the sooner their new spouse can begin turning their lives around.  They name you "their saviour".

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end...
Lust takes, love gives.  Praise and defeat cannot live in the same house!
Men make sure you validate your relationship with your woman.
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not idisourage.  The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.  EWilliam Ellery Channing
No pressure, no diamonds.  Mary Chase
Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.  Max Lucado
Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.  Dale Carnegie
The most important thing for a good marriage is to learn to argue peaceabley.  Anita Ekberg
Conflict isn't good or bad, right or wrong . . . conflict simply is.  It is how we choose to respond to conflict that produces the growth or
creates the real problem.  Gary J.  Oliver
Marriage is nature's way of keeping peole from fighting with strangers.  Unknown
Life is a cycle , always in motion; if good times have moved on, so will times of trouble!  Indian proverb
Quarrels would not last so long if the fault lay only on one side.  Rancois De La Rochefoucauld
I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kernels of irritationl  Whoopi Godberg
Weakness on both sides is the motto of all quuarrels.  Voltaire
There are so many fragile things, after all.   People break so easily, so do hearts.  Neil Gaiman
Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.  Les Brown
To open your heart to someone means exposing the scrs of the past.  unknown

The mind forgets, but the heart always remembers.  anonymous
The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of.  Charles H. Perkhurst
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  Charles Swindoll
People react to fear, not love - they don't teach that in Sunday school, but it's true.  Richard Nixon
The moment we want something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.  George Bernard Shaw
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.  Mother Teresa

A women's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her critism goes straight to his heart, and contricts it so that it never holds again quite as much much love for her.  Helen Howland
Every thought is a seed, if you plant crab apples, don't expect Golden Delisious.  bill Meyer
Each of use sees out world through a particular set of senses.  If we're no careful, the type of glasses we put on can distort what we're trying to see.  Debbie cherry

All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.  James Allen
You are todays where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.  James Allen

Thinking is the grand originator of our experience.  William james

The ancestor of every action, is a thought. Raph Waldo Emerson

It is neather good or bad, but thinking makes it so.  William Shakespeare

Hardening of the Heart ages people more quicly than hardening of the arteries.  unknown

The worst prison would be a closed heart.  Pope John Paul II

For every beauty there is a eye to see it.
For every truth there is an ear to hear it.
For every love there is a heart somewhere to recieve it.  Ivan Panin

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.  Charles Dickens
Spirited words can hurt your feelings, but silence breakes your heat.  Phyllis McGinley
Take away lovem and our earth is a tomb.  robert Browning
In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing.  Antonio Porchia
Seeds like hearts, must open to grow.  Carol Horos

The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.  George Bernard Shaw

Action springs not from thought but from a readiness for responsibitlity. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Unity without diversity leads to uniformity.  Warren Wiersbe

It is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you maried the right person or wrong person is primarily up to you.  Zig Zigler

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.  Confucius
Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy and satisified.  It's your job to make your marriage happy and satisfying. Dian Sollee

When argument flares up, the wise man quenches it with silence. unknown
To be acquainated with oneself is a terrible shock.  Carl Jung

You can not make someone love you; all you can do is be somone who can be loved. 
A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.  Mother Teresa

10 Things to Know Your Man is Full of Shit:

1. Plans have no time frame.-So you can't trap him with his lie, can technically say- No lie,- so he can move around between women & action.
2.  Future Plans talk: 
a.  He'll start an unrelated argument., b  Change to other subjects when you talk.
3.  Always insists you call before you come to his house.- he gets mad at you cause you could catch him at something he shouldn't be doing.
4.  Don't Know any of his friends & he doesn't want to know yours.  So he con his shit & your friends don't know him to tell on him.
5.  Never disagrees with you on any major topics.  Cause you are not in the future plans.  He doesn't care.  Only hanging out or fucking you.
6.  disappears days, at a time and comes back with lame excuses.  Ask what he doing-if he's not calling, seeing people.  He won't do this if
they want to know what you doing.
7.  Always looses phone.
8.  Still good friends with baby mom, or exes - show he still fucking them or would like too.
9.  Ask yourself WHY?
Never leaves phone, wallet. or any personal items where you could get ahold of them.  Men keep stuff easy to reach or lay about or he's hiding or he's asking you to get his stuff for him and do his personal stuff cause men are lazy, so he's hiding. 

3-4 of these  things he's probably full of shit. Chazz Ellis

games 1 & 2
insecure men and women
Interracial marriages in the U.S. have climbed to 4.8 million (1 in 12 marriages) in 2010 as a steady flow of new Asian and Hispanic immigrants expands the pool of prospective spouses. Blacks are now substantially more likely than before to marry whites. In 2010, 15% of new marriages were interracial.  In 2010, 25% of Asians, 25% of Hispanics, 17.1% of blacks, and 9.4% of whites married interracially. Of the 275,500 new interracial marriages in 2010, 43% were white-Hispanic couples, 14.4% were white-Asian, 11.9% were white-black, and the remainder were other combinations.

Although the anti-miscegenation laws have been revoked, the social stigma related to Black interracial marriages still exists in today's society.

Research by Tucker and Mitchell-Kerman from 1990 has shown that Blacks intermarry far less than any other non-White group and in 2010, only 17.1% of Blacks married interracially, a rate far lower than the rates for Hispanics and Asians.  Black interracial marriages in particular engender problems associated with racist attitudes and perceived relational inappropriateness. There is also a sharp gender imbalance to Black interracial marriages: In 2008, 22% of all black male newlyweds married interracially while only 9% of black female newlyweds married outside their race, making them the least likely of any race or gender to marry outside their race and the least likely to get married at all.
White wife/Black husband marriages show twice the divorce rate of White wife/White husband couples by the 10th year of marriage

Here a bit of rocket science for men and the experts: women don't want to be tied down with chores at home or the sole care for the children either.  But if they don't do it no one will.  SO HELP take care of the children you helped create, or adopted; and help take care of the home YOU ALSO LIVE IN.  Now days 40% or more of women work out side the home too.  Then we come home to absolutely NO rest at home after a hard days work.  Then we are expected to improve our lives, take care of your families(cook, clean, homework, errands, childrens activities, daily chores, church committments), and be healthy.  AND have the energy after all that to have sex?.  Get real?  Personally we'd also like time to follow our hobbies too.  Or keep up contacts with friends or extended family members.  Or the old fashioned relax and rest!  The science behind wither women actually want sex or not is.  Women want sex 46% more than their partners.  The #1 problem in marriages is no sex.  50% of men in church congreation have sexual addictions to something other than desires for their wives.  Women love their husbands but don't desire them because the man has no interest in them other than a house keeper.  Woman want to be the girl friend, lover, and mistress to their men; not to easy to feel or be viewed that way when your the unpaid maid.

50% of men born are sterile.  And are 50% of men are homosexual. This leaves approxiamately 25% men for children.   All this is going to result in no children to support pention funds, or to take care of the elderly.  So of course experts are supporting genoscide of the elderly or the unproductive in our American society.  Preaching social security failure verses what is causing the real problem, immorality and gender sex changes. 
All these problems started with a society in which the roles of men are undefined.  Men don't do well with out clear and to the point instructions.  Hence, the Holy Bible.  Book of instruction, learning for Man.  To teach families and wives.
3 Questions to ask before marrying.
1.  Same distination later in life.
2.  Same moral rules.
3.  Do you need each other?.
If someone cheats on you. 3 reasons not to leave.

You can leave or not leave.   Most people will tell you  to leave.

1. You may not be ready to go positons by logic. (Then you get reduced to hating.)

2.You never know what you will come back to.  Things change, and you will not be pissed
off.  You might want to come back.  Make it a mental descion vs emotional pissed off.)

3.  You may actually been in a happy relationship with them, till they cheated.  Now you left
and you lost what you wanted.
Some players are harmless & easy to pick out that they are just after sex.

Others are more insidious & predatory - they seduce, mislead by suggestion, lie outright, deceive, manipulate and use women.
Learn the difference between PERSONALITY & CHARACTER.
Pay attention to any feeling that things do not add up.
Beware the 'perfect' guy and the 'perfect' relationship that unfolds too easily.
Beware the guy who plies you with alcohol.
Although there is no guarantee you will be told the truth, establish the rules upfront; ask what you are; what this is.
Then see if his ACTION matches his WORDS.
A guy who is genuinely interested in a relationship willing puts in effort to build something healthy ei will listen & try to solve problems for you (not against you), respects you/proud to be with you, respects your opinion and is open and transparent.
A player is unlikely to invest effort in a woman, (he'll invest in his false front.);to him she is just a docking station, a means to something, and if he is seeing other women then a schedule (certain days of the week) or secrecy is likely part of the equation.

Run if referred to as a 'special friend', haven't been introduced to his circle or if when confronted with professions/promises made; he claims he can't recall/didn't say that/you misunderstood.

Men with hostile attitudes: problems, hiding something else.  They feel owed to & will spend alot of time having you pay for past offenses even one's you didn't do.

Best be prepared... Figure out the game, avoid being used.
In America, women are ten times more likely to be abused in there home, then if they lived on the streets.

In South Central North Dakota, SAFE SHELTER ( serving a limited number) TEXT  (701) 351-9305 evenings.
Why is society and family in trouble?

Men have dropped the ball! (The majority of them have.)  They are refusing to growup. They are more concerned with scoring a one night stand between sports, bar hopping, gaming, and waxing their vechiles.  Now their own chests/legs weither homosexual or not.  Efinianating themselves.

In a nut shell they have become very self-centered, and destructive.  They are responsible for setting the tone of a relionship, wither fair, loving, open or cold and selfish.  They have chosen selfishness, yet complain that women don't value or respect them.  Leave them.  WHAT DO THEY OFFER WOMEN?
Nothing.  Other then a impregnation device.  What families require is personal involvement, time, sharing, caring.  Women and children follow the example of men. SO, . .. .Now we have a full generation of young adults whom are unskilled in life relations, nor do they care.

To have a women, means you put in the time your whole life to know her, love her, learn about her.  Not to ruin her, but to help her, and enjoy the her.  This brings about an admiration and respect for the man from the woman.  The thing adult men desire the most deep inside to fill the void.  With out this from a man, he is only a walking wallet.  His choice to be in a intimate relationship or be used.

You Use Guy Talk with Us

If you have any romantic inclinations toward us, please don't call us by our last name. Otherwise we'll assume we've already been relegated to buddy status and start thinking of you that way, too. Also, you'll rarely find us holding entire conversations in Simpsons and Old School quotes.

Similarly, we don't talk in numbers the same way men tend to. We're happy to see evidence of your improvements at the gym, but we really don't need to know how much you can bench-press.

You're Vague

Men seem to have perfected a special way of talking about the future that makes it unclear whether we're a part of it or not. Or maybe you don't know you're doing this? For instance, you frequently mention your buddy's wedding in another state 6 months from now and you haven't asked us to go with you. Or you have a month-long international business trip coming up but haven't asked us whether we'd like to come for a weekend visit. If you picture us in your future, try talking about these things in such a way that we'll stick around for it. 
Like directly ask us to attend with you would take the vague out of it.  Not talking like this in private and then in public in church amoungst your respected peers say to 300 people "WE ARE JUST FRIENDS".  Now you killed trust, future, hope, respect.

You Say No to Sex

When it so happens that we're the one who wants sex and you're the one who doesn't, we find your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure us that we're attractive and that you love us, but that you just aren't in the mood. Be fair if your the one asking to have sex anyway when we are tired, expecting us to recipucate; then we need some recipuracting too.

It helps to throw out a hint at what's going on—that you're tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever, that way we won't obsess or be too pouty or aggressive. 

You Dont Call

Texting is fast and easy and leads to sexy banter—but save it until after the first date. Calling a woman to ask her out is much more personal.
It takes more effort (and balls), which is exactly what we find so sexy about your doing it.

The Past Does Not
Equal The Future

Home Sweet

There are still some places in the world so remote; all there is; is your heart and God's creations.

A very good thing!
Two of the Most Blessed Persons in the Whole
Wide World!

Two very loving & grateful people.

A very, very good thing!

{He makes snow fun!}
A Real Man he is & all mine!
o >
Happiness is being in the arms of the one God made for you!
{ 2 Hearts, 1 Mind }
To make Deep Enduring Intimate  Friends/Relationships You MUST:  Especially true in marriages.

OPEN hearts - can not be hard hearted, devilge thioughts, dreams, desires, and what do don't want.  Transparancy - required No secrets, No appearances, be qeniuine.  Recieve and give praise and critisim-gladly, gladly listen, aide spiritual growth, align relationship with scripture, love you enough to bring stuff to your attention, takes time to build friendship & good communications, admonish each other,  deep relationships motivates us, changes us, feel you can say anything, built on back of failures, and successes.  All these things don't come over night or at once they are built upon with daily practice.  Allowing your prospective mate to fail or succeed for you, and you for them.  Finding out about each other:  health, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, strengths, weaknesses, Realize that full filling goals of love for one another daily may, occassionaly may be missed.
Faithfull are the wounds of a friend; deceitful are the kisses of the enemy.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship - together with openness.  It is not too late for us.  You are the same people as you were before any disagreement happen,  But now when in disagreement your in the dark so you think dark - bad situations.
Continuing a relationship when it hits ruff roads will make for a stronger bond later,  Even if you fail at first , keep trying and you will smooth out the bumps or help each other over them.  It is about how much love you build.
How can we withhold foregiveness when Christ forgave all we will ever do?  Christian adults duty is to make up and be friends.  Children play the never speak games.  Forgive - talk out how makes you feel.  "FIREPROOF" her, "FIREPROOF" him.
Total openness and transparency is a must. 
Disagreement and periods of discord are good as it causes us to change and grow.  WHen you help each other grow your  friendship grows.

Be geniune, sacrifce, pray regularly together, do daily affirmations, keep in touch daily, address concerns in a timely manner, increase their success, carry their burdens, allow them to fail and succeed for you.

A true friend:  admonishes, loves you enough to tell you about things in your life that other people didn't dare to say.  Puts relationship on the line, Because someone loved me enough to speak the truth to you; requires bing able to forgive; share mutual concerns/interests, try to meet each other's needs, risk rejection & pain with transparancy & honesty, willng to confront, shared my needs, disclose needs, drop pretenses, fears, running away, & let people get close. 

Marriage:  is a lifelong choice to love an imperfect person.

Not just once do we do these things? but over and over again.

How often do we ask for forgiveness, OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

How often do we forgive? OVER OVER AND OVER AGAIN all the rest of the days of the relatioship!.

FORGIVE Sincerely & Quickly, Often

Dan's belliefs, ways, style, rugged good looks, and lifestyle all suit me.  He is a taller better looking me.  He is what/whom I want for Christmans and the rest of my life as partner, and friend.